Fishing Buddies Saved My Life
1st Photo (My mother and I), 2nd Photo (My daughter and I)
They are more than just friends to me
It’s usually the big events in your life that make you who you are and the paths you take. For my life, fishing has become such a saving grace for myself, especially my group “Fishing buddies Christchurch area” more than just friends to me, they saved my life.
In 2018 on the 4th of March I lost my mother very suddenly. Nothing could have prepared us for that horrible day. I was already low at the time, recovering from a relationship that ended badly and had that left me broken an feeling worthless, suffering from anxiety and severe depression already. How could I cope with another traumatic event.
My mother’s troubles started when she experienced an extreme stomach ache. She was rushed to hospital and after 48hrs of treatment and heartache we had lost her due to no blood flow in her small intestine, which finally affected her organs and her body could no longer cope. Those 48hrs went by like someone had stopped time and was drip feeding us seconds like they were hours.
Leading up to her passing, we sat together sobbing until her final tear fell an she took her last breath. Life became unbearable I didn’t want to live anymore. I turned to drugs and alcohol at the time, outbursts were frequent, tears were constant and it seemed the light in my life was gone.
The only thing keeping me alive was my precious wee baby girl, who thankfully is my saving grace, my angel and Christ my saviour. Something unseen slapped me across the face that day and reminded me, I have something to live for, my baby girl needed me and I needed her.
I picked myself up from the misery I was in, I felt alone and weak. I cradled my girl and made a promise then and there... that I will get my life back and be the mother she deserved.
I put down my addictions and got help, I worked on my mind, my body and spirit for the sake of raising this amazing human being I was blessed to have. After taking several courses, filled with triumphs and failures I was proud to have achieved this on my own. I was in a happier, stronger and brighter place in life and I held my head high as a mother.
This is where fishing changed my journey and became an essential part of our lives. It became way to connect with my mother. I needed a hobby, I needed a distraction. I already had my gardening, but I needed something to different away from home.
I grew up fishing with my mother as a child, the early mornings, late nights rain, hail or shine it was our bonding time, just the two of us. So I decided to start fishing back in September 2019, it became my safe place, a place I felt grounded and connect spiritually.
A few years later I realised I had no idea how to actually fish... I needed some help badly.
So I sat and pondered what to do… Then suddenly took to searching Facebook looking for groups with like-minded people. One of the groups I found were, “Fishing buddies Christchurch area” Co-founded by Jamie Roelink. He was just like me, had a love of fishing and used it to help him through tough times. Eventually I found my place in this fishing community and gained the knowledge I so very much needed.
I used fishing and the bonds I made to overcome my mental health issues and grief. It helped me through things day to day, but most of all to keep my mother’s memory alive. I have now taught my daughter, who is now 4 to fish and I have taught her how to connect spiritually just as my mother did for me.
I’m thankful to rediscover fishing and to the group that saved me. I am still in the group and still learning from this amazing bunch of people who relate and love sharing their priceless knowledge with me and my daughter.
I discovered on my journey that being part of a tight community, doing something that means something to you, can give you a sense of belonging. When life deals out the dark times, you need to find an outlet, and you will find peace and resolution.
Written by Roxy Tanui
