Do you have a Plan to Pre-Plan?

Reduce stress, decisions & conflict in your family after you pass on

Death, dying, passing away, passing on, terminal – all very uncomfortable words that we all would like to avoid but in reality cannot. No matter who you are, what you do, you can be certain that you will die, and that you will lose people you love. We don’t often talk about it, we avoid thinking about it and we rarely plan for it…… it’s confronting – and the planning is alternately exhausting and intimidating. But we do plan to a point, we have Life Insurance, Wills – these are the palatable parts of accepting our mortality.

There is so much more to think about – and we can plan for: documents, digital executors (someone to handle your social media accounts, access to your digital documents and photos), aging wishes (choosing your own nursing home so that if the situation arises it is not done in a rush by someone else), your preferences for legacy and remembrance, what memories and family traditions you would like to ensure are continued and your personal property distribution.

I started my business Sought to be a practical solution for ex-pats, so they could have someone to be onsite and project manage the clearing of a loved one’s home in the instances, for whatever reason, that they couldn’t. After Loss services is a burgeoning industry globally as we have come to recognise how time poor we are, how families increasingly live away from their hometown and loved ones. Engaging an After Loss consultant provides a clear direction on where to start, project management, more time to grieve and ease some of the anguish.

What I have come to understand in the time I have been in business is the how much the clearing of an estate is loaded with the potential for stress, decisions that are later regretted and most of all, family conflict. Initially I was shocked to realise how often, when I spoke to people about what I do, they would tell me of long standing family resentments or fractions over their loved ones estate. We are not talking about the big stuff – houses, investments etc; although they do feature, they are usually covered in a will. What is spoken about most is the memory pieces, the family history pieces, beloved items that ‘spoke’ to one sibling but ended up with another.

There is a saying that it is easier to die than be an executor. It is estimated that it will take the executor of a will over 6 months to 2 years, approximately 470 hours, to complete the many tasks required to wrap up an estate. There is so much involved in estate administration that footprint.co.nz quotes that 95% of non-professional executors end up engaging a professional. The list of tasks involved include:

• Finding and contacting beneficiaries.

• Cashing in assets i.e. KiwiSaver and bank accounts.

• Making sure your property is insured and or maintained.

• Advertising for creditors

• Paying all debts.

• Getting assets valued.

• Dealing with gift requests.

• Cancelling subscriptions.

• Claiming insurance or any entitlements such as annual leave from an employer.

• Checking employee entitlements.

• Transferring ownership of joint assets.

• Obtaining a declaration of family history.

• Completing an end of life tax return.

• Distributing the estate and more….

This is not a short or easy list, the more that is documented and collated in advance, along with informing someone of your wishes and the whereabouts of documents and instructions is a wonderful gift for those who are left behind. This pre-planning removes confusion, ensures your legacy is continued and allows you and your loved ones to enjoy the now knowing that the future is prepared for.

One of the largest jobs, which often has to be done quickly/early is the clearing of the home. When you look at the combination of grief and time stress, and often the accompanying guilt if a person has to be away from their partner, children, job, the potential to make the wrong decision or have conflict is easy to understand. Pre-planning can go a long way towards easing this. When you pre-plan you provide clarity for your family and you can ensure that your wishes are honoured.

The difference between one of my friends – who has a loved print from childhood nights spent at her Grandmothers, and another friend who has lost all access to a grandparents medals and jewelery is planning, of making wishes known.

Do you know who you would like to have the pieces like a print, grandma’s pie dish or jewelery? You can ask your family and friends if there is anything they would love to have to remember you by. Is there a charity or organisation you support that you would like to have your non-perishable pantry items, blankets, towels, sheets? Decluttering or clearing an estate is not just about letting go of items, it is also an opportunity to pass things on to those who need them.

Gifts of significance, those that have sentimental value are often not included in a will as this takes more time and thus increases the cost.

If you have a long list of other minor gifts that you want to leave to specific people, you may want to consider listing those items and who should receive them in a separate document placed with your Will. This is not legally binding but it does act as a record of your wishes which your advisory trustee could distribute.

Increasingly we are all also creating a large digital footprint – social media accounts, emails, texts, and photos are the first to come to mind but there are also subscriptions, memberships, online loyalty schemes, air-points and shopping accounts. For many people nowadays the paper address book is sitting, out of date in a drawer – how will your family contact your friends and acquaintances? What becomes of your online files, documents, messages - do you want someone to have access to all the messages, emails and texts you have sent? Our online shopping accounts hold our personal details – our address, often our credit card details – these are all vulnerable to hackers, a plan to protect your identity lessens the risk of fraud. How can your family access photo’s and other digital content? Our digital legacy ranges from the financial and sentimental to the mundane – and it will outlive you. Sharon Hartung, the author of the book ‘Your Digital Undertaker’ states that ‘There is now a whole new era of planning that we have to do around our digital footprint’.

Apple, Facebook and Google have now added features that allows the account holder to delegate a legacy contact to take over their accounts. There are still restrictions in place about what that person can see or do but at the very least a legacy contact can nominate that the account is memorialised or deleted. As yet these functions have not been tested in court but as time goes on we can be sure that the availability, structure and legality of these options will increase.

The options available to assist with pre-planning are increasing month on month, in NZ the Public Trust, and My Footprint websites have lots of information and articles to guide you. There are more and more websites and apps available that cover pre-planning, at the moment most are US based so the legal aspects are different but they are still great places to start. A South Island business ‘My Peace of Mind’ (www.mypeaceofmind.co.nz) offers an online form, or physical book to complete that stores all the relevant information your family needs. Sought (www.sought.co.nz) has an app that you can download to catalogue all the contents of your home and then provide directives for what you would like to happen with each item. Pre-planning is one of the greatest gifts you can give your loved ones.

Written by

Lisa Dooling